And that’s ok too…

I have recently been on a quest to find positivity in everything, and whilst this journey has been incredibly rewarding, I was reminded over the weekend of the importance of balance in our lives, and how even if I don’t want to see it, we all can be and are impacted by negativity in our lives to varying degrees.  This has been on my mind ever since as there was a lot of truth in the statement that was made, and the conversation that followed.

We live in a time and an age where perfection (although unattainable), is sought in every aspect of our lives.  The fact that we are striving for the unobtainable can be detrimental to us on a number of levels.  With this in mind, when I made my conscious step towards living a positive life, I felt that I had to embrace it in every aspect of my life because if I didn’t, I was somehow failing on my mission.

I ‘Liked’ new things on Facebook and therefore my newstream changed which presented me with more and more positive quotes and images that I thought I needed to live by so that I could succeed on my journey.  In reality and on reflection, this actually put pressure on me to feel as if I had to feel and behave in a particular way if I wanted to remain positive and view myself as successful.  I tried to be aware of, and look for the positive in all my conversations and interactions with people.   This sometimes meant that I was not honouring their feelings and letting them feel, experience, and share what they needed to, and this may have been unfair of me to them.  For that I am sorry.

I have been impacted by relationships in my life that existed with people who were negative about everything, and I believe that I wanted to move so far away from the way that those relationships made me feel, that I tried to go completely the other way without realising that could impact me too.

On reflection, I now feel that the quest to find positivity in everything was not the right thing for me.

Balance is essential in my life.  Sometimes I am going to have a bad moment, bad experience, bad day, bad whatever, and that’s ok.  I need to work through it, and grow from, it if I can.  This does not mean that I am a failure.  It means I am a real person.  By letting myself feel what I need to feel is also being part of being authentic.  If I don’t have the negative, I may, one day, not be grateful for the positive because the positive will be my 100% norm, and I don’t think I am ok with that.

I am who I am.  Sometimes I will be positive, and that’s ok.  Sometimes I will feel negative, and that’s ok too. And sometimes I may even be somewhere in the middle.

I need to be kinder to myself by letting myself be and feel whatever I want/need to be and feel, and I also want to be able to share whatever my feelings are with those around me without labelling myself or my feelings.  There is no rule book or judgement here. There are just opportunities to be, to learn, to grow and to enjoy.